Coming from a family of musicians, I was always intrigued and excited about my music but never was I encouraged or had the opportunity to play an instrument or develop my artistic concepts seriously. Maybe it was for this reason while growing up I pushed myself to do what I could do best at that time – develop my vocal abilities.
However, somewhere along my path I developed an inferiority complex. It followed me throughout my artistic life, and negatively affected me. While living in New York, back in 1994, I had an opportunity to be part of a musical. I auditioned, they loved what I had to offer but then when the rehearsals began with each note I executed and every line I delivered I thought of myself as Whitney Houston. What a disaster it became! I never made it to the stage, what a flop I was. My Aunt Debbie kept asking me, “What happened to you? It was so good at the audition”. I had no answers but, deep down I knew what my issues were – wanting to be so much like the rest of them, I forgot who I was and the reason I passed the audition in the first place.
Over the years, I continued to have many painful experiences with the world of music primarily because of fear, not liking where I came from and feeling that what I had to offer was not good enough. I wanted to be everyone else except me, Hillary! But finally after so many years of being pushed and pushing myself out of myself I’ve come to my center, I’ve found focus, I’ve accepted Hillary, I’ve found my FANGA!
Message to my readers:
You cannot change who you are or what you are meant to be.
You can enhance your life by changing bad habits to positive outcomes.
Do not be afraid to challenge your fears the results might be worth it.
You deserve better.
You can heal yourselves.