Tough Love

Joelle and Jaheem - the product of FANGA parenting!

Babies are like uncut diamonds so precious. Like diamonds eventually they are shaped and polished therefore, they should be shaped and polished into bona fide diamonds. Hillary Sargeant.

Having lunch with a friend discussing our everyday life situations led us to the topic of parenting and how it is perceived differently by each parent. In today’s society, being a parent is not an easy task, as we all know. Whether you are a single parent (I am a single parent) or do have a partner it is tough to raise a family. Our responsibilities are huge and the work of parenting can be tedious and wonderful at the same time. Bringing a child into
this world is a much bigger picture than most of us perceive it to be.

I have learnt throughout my years as a mother that most mothers/fathers sometimes go beyond what’s necessary and concede to their children’s wants because of that special bond. Therefore, we sometimes get lost in that one-dimensional aspect of parenting.

Contrary to my friend, I believe that apart from the challenges that our children put us through it is important for us to begin the preparation from an early age to set them out to face the world. Loving a child most times is the opposite of pampering and smothering them to ruins. Children need to know that they too are responsible for their future; the future lies in their hands, for that time will come when they will have to venture out on
their own in this world as we will no longer be there to pick up their slack.

Instilling strength and values within a child and bringing them to a level of excellence requires lots of patience. Some of us are lucky to bear children with a wonderful persona but for the not so fortunate ones our responsibility should be of good judgment in knowing how to handle the child and their weaknesses by ensuring that they develop healthy minds.

I left my daughter at an early age when I migrated to Israel but my not being with her  never led me to the point where I felt guilty. I knew she was in good hands and I was like an iron fist even though I was miles away. Case in point; one day she phoned me to Israel asking for permission to spend the night at a friend’s house because her uncle would not give her the permission to go. I told her I would not be able to give her that opportunity because as much as I am her biological mother I was not the one who was parenting her at
that time. I knew that going against my brother would have just brought friction between us and she would have had the upper hand and this could not be. So I did not give in to her request but instead chose to stand behind my brother’s decision. Today she has grown up to be a responsible and smart young woman.

Taking time out to know your children is important and by genuinely knowing them, you will learn of their true desires and that will make the difference and will build them into strong pillars within our society.(HS)

Some of you may not agree with the importance of showing an iron fist or having that tough love with your kids but you should know that they will always love you and in the end they will thank you for pushing them to be healthy and strong individuals. This is my FANGA of parenting!