When my girlfriend Resa sent me a SMS telling me Amy Winehouse had died I sent back a reply saying it was only a matter of time. I was not sad about her death, I was angry at her for being so disruptive to her life and cheating us by leaving us so soon. There was so much more she had to offer and to share with us as a musician, I felt hurt.
A few days afterwards on the television there was a documentary about her life and the troubling issues told by her father. It was filmed in 2009. This was the year she was cleaned up from drugs and was trying to get herself on the right track. Her father was happy and I am guessing prayed that it was over.
It was nice to see the real Amy on video without the frills and just being herself. That year she spent nine months in St Lucia in the Caribbean. Looking at the video while she was there one can tell she was in another element of her life, a world you can see where she felt secured. You saw the real Amy. You saw she loved and cared for others, you saw that she loved children, she enjoyed life’s liberties, and I guess wanted a normal life.
What was interesting though about the documentary was to see a father’s love and anguish not knowing how to accomplish what he wanted for his little girl. He said as a parent he felt impotent because he did not know how and what to do. He saw a therapist who told him he could not carry Amy’s burden and if he does not take care of himself he might die from being burdened by the situation. He sat in few forums for parents whose children were drug addicts. In one of these sessions he said he wished that she’ll stop hurting herself and going into those dark modes in order to write hits. It was overwhelming for him and it was clearly seen on his face when he read a news article about Michael Jackson’s death.
Amy wanted to live in the heart of London in Camden and he was totally against it but said if that’s what she wanted then he could not do anything about it. Deep down in his heart he knew it was the wrong place for her to be. As a parent what can you do when your child has so much power and influence?
I have seen drugs destroyed many lives including my brother’s. It draws you in, sucks you dry, weakens you and transforms your body into a glutton hungry for its substances so much so that for those who are already vulnerable they get the bitter end of it.
Before the documentary I thought of her parents differently I thought that they could have been more responsible, I’ll take the opportunity here to apologize for my ignorance.
Even though she tried to get away from it all she could not escape from it, her talent was bigger than her, a larger than life instrument she could not master.
I bid you farewell Amy, gone but not forgotten
Love you Amy.