FRIENDS – individuals that we inherit everyday in our lives, some accidental, some intentional, it does not matter how we look at it they are part of our existence in life.
Sometimes we can rely too much on our friends. Our expectations from friends can mislead us therefore bringing us to a confused state which most times spark into an ugly mess. Growing and relating to one another in order to make a beautiful everlasting friendship takes time and patience.
Some friendships kick off with a bang and others struggle to come together. Most times the friendships that struggle to come together are the most genuine ones. This struggle I believe comes because most times that person is the mirror of us and it is hard to accept the friendship without judgment.
Pastor T. D. Jakes said in one of his sermons in 2008 that there are three types of friends that come into your life: 1) The Confidant; 2) The Constituent and 3) The Comrade.
He said that the Confidant is a friend that is into you. You can share anything with them. They are there for the long haul. They are there when you are up or down and if you get into trouble they’ll get into trouble with you. He went on to say that if you are lucky to intertwine with two or three of them within your life time you are blessed.
The Constituent – They are not into you. They are there for what you are into so they will work with you and you’ll have to know that because if they meet someone that will further their agenda they will leave you.
The Comrade – They are not for you. They are against what you are against. They come into your life like scaffolding. They will team up with you to fight the enemy but do not be confused with those associations for they will remove themselves after the victory is accomplished.
Throughout my life I have learnt to brace myself and leave room for disappointments amongst my friends for we are a fickle society. I remember telling my little sister who is a riot in her own right that she might shock me but never disappoint me for I always have a place within me for the unpredictable. I am always ready to expect the unexpected.
Friends can take you into a whirlpool of emotions but like Pastor Jake says there are three types and learning to distinguish between them should bring a clearer understanding where your loyalty should stand.
So whether you are a friend a thousand miles away or a couple of blocks down the street I am confident in my ability to manage our friendship so that our relationship will foster into maximum respect and lines will be drawn in its right place.
After all is said and done, in the end there are friends and there are FRIENDS!
Shana Tova to ALL of my friends and I wish you a FANGA-ful and sweet year ahead!